


I Will Endure

by PonderingTheUniverse17



Series: Love and Space Dust [8]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Pre-Episode: s09e09 Sleep No More, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7727341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PonderingTheUniverse17/pseuds/PonderingTheUniverse17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Sleep No More. The Doctor and Clara come to terms with a loss that changed their lives forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Endure

_Beyond the unfolding of your smile, is there other kindness?_

He could hear her soft sobs from the other side of the door. It had exactly four weeks since it happened. Just merely a month since she was ripped from them. It had been four weeks of running and denial between them. She wasn’t forgotten. It wasn’t brushed aside. Just hidden. Burning within the both of them.

It was seared in his mind, the look of fear in her eyes as crimson covered the sheets. He couldn’t bear to tell her the truth. The pain took over her body. Sweat covered her forehead. Her wails sounded within the room. Then, it was over. No cries were heard. Just silence.

He opened the door as quietly as he could. Her sobs were replaced by sniffles by the time he closed it. She was on the floor, clutching the pastel blanket to her chest. His knees wanted to buckle at seeing the room again. The unused nursery. The white crib stood out against the black on the wall. A lump formed in his throat at the sight of the white dots. He’d painted the constellations on it himself. The mobile of stars from his crib hung above what would’ve been hers slowly swung around in circles.

“Why are you in here?’ she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now,” he said.

“I deserve to be,” she said as a bitter laugh escaped her lips. “After what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything,” he said.

“I killed her, Doctor. She died because of me and my stupid human body!”

He sat down on the floor next to her. Gently, he cupped her face in his hands. “It’s not your fault, nor is it mine,” he began. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”

“Why?” she demanded as her voice broke.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Tell me.”

“I just did.”

She shook her head, her mind unable to accept it.

_There's nothing you can do._

But she had to.

“We’ll see her again someday, yeah?” she asked. He used his thumb to wipe her tear stained cheeks.

“Of course we will,” he said. He dropped his hands from her face and rested them on top of hers. “Wherever we go after this life, we’ll be with her again.” A faint smile curved across his lips. He stood up and extended his hand out to her. The weight of it all sat on her heavily but she wasn’t going to carry it alone.

She grabbed his hand, a sharp breath escaping her lips as she stood on her feet. Her eyes wandered between the crib and the blanket still gripped in her hand.

“We have to soldier up and move on, don’t we?” she asked.

“We have to heal. We may never truly move on, but we can’t live like this forever.”

She nodded and began stepping towards the crib. He kept his hands on her shoulders, having her back like always.

“We’ll do this like we do everything else. Together.” She set the blanket in it, smoothing it out with her fingers.

“Together,” he agreed.

As they walked out of the room, they turned around to give it one last look.

_I will endure._


End file.
